Decisions Are Tough

So I went to visit my kitty again. This was about 4:30pm. Shaun came with me. At first he did not want to see Casper but he decided to come in. We talked to the vet. Still no good news. We asked to see Casper again. We went to see him...I think he was worse than he was about 4 hours earlier when I last visited him. I held him. I talked to him. Shaun got to pet him while I was holding casper and he purred very softly. I thought this might be a good sign so I couldn't bring myself to put him down. We visited with him for about an hour. We finally left to eat about 5:30pm. We both haven't eaten all day. Just didn't seem important with what was going on with the presh (Casper). Shortly before 6pm, I got the phone call. They said he went downhill right after we left. Casper was no longer breathing on his own and we gave them orders to do whatever they could to save him, which put him on a respirator while they phoned us. They said the respirator was very hard on him and needed my permission to take him off. I cried over the phone and told them, 'yes, is it okay? is he okay?' They said yes it's a good decision. They handed me off to a second person for confirmation. That made me cry more. And they asked me the same thing. I said 'yes.' And they let him go.